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Why couples break their relationship?

“I cried a lot because of you. I laughed a lot because of you. I believed in love because of you. And now I’m heartbroken because of you.” –Tyga, an American rapper.  “If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” – Paulo Coelho, a Brazilian novelist. These two quotes broken-hearted from famous people describe people who you love first are the one that potentially makes your heart broken. In addition, you need to have great courage to move on because there is a lot of opportunities out there. There are three main reasons partners break their relationship: they have high expectations from the partners, they have different top three values that should stand, and they could not tolerate the partner’s weakness.

The couples have high expectations in their mind what their mates should think, behave and say it. For example, a man expects the woman do cooking for him, oblige everything that he said, and follow his rules. On the other side, a woman hopes that man can listen to every problem that she told, support her decision in life, can always be there every time she needs. When a man or woman has something that they imagine their partners should act, but in reality, it does not happen like that; and then, the disappointment is the result that couples get. If they could not carry it on for a short or long time and happens like a snowball, it will encourage one of the partners to decide to end their relationship.

Every partner has different top values, and the change happens when one of them break it down. In life, people have values that they embrace, and they expect the others to fulfill it. For instance, a man has values that influenced by his childhood – consistency, carefulness, and patience. On the other hand, the woman has different top values – honesty, fearlessness, and trustworthiness. When they interact each other in daily life, they seem to forget to communicate their critical values. When one of the partners ignore, it disappoints their heart.

The partner cannot tolerate their partner’s weaknesses when they build the relationship. As time goes by, the partner learns everything about their partners, such as their likes and dislikes, hopes and despairs, the past and future life. The partner attempts to open themselves, such as express themselves as the needy or insensitive person, or they can be very blunt to judge something. The couple hopes their partner can support everything or accept who they are. When one partner cannot deal with the other’s vulnerabilities, there is a high possibility they will decide to give up their relationship.

The relationship is never as perfect as a fairy tale or romantic drama which has a happy ending. The couple can choose to break their relationship when they could not fulfill a high expectation from their partners, could not accept the differences of their priority values and deal the partner’s shortcomings. The general quote often hears that nobody is perfect and to commit to building it better should be a part of partner’s mindset. Maintaining the relationship needs effort from both parties to understand their partner’s self, accept every different values and fragility, and change themselves to be a better person

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Catatan

8.39 pm

Banyak cara memberikan semangat dalam menjalani segala sesuatu, melalui lagu, kata-kata bijak, dan catatan dari seorang teman. Apapun  yang sekarang sedang dialami adalah sebuah proses dan perjalanan. Harus ditempuh, dihadapi, disyukuri, dan diterima. Mengucap syukur akan segala sesuatu.

#1. “Jangan Pernah Menyerah” – Edward Chen Feat. Justin Faith Chen
Tuhan tak pernah janji,
langit selalu biru.
Tetapi Dia berjanji,
selalu menyertai.

Tuhan tak pernah janji,
jalan selalu rata.
Tetapi Dia berjanji,
berikan kekuatan.

Jangan pernah menyerah,
jangan berputus asa.
Mujizat Tuhan ada,
saat hati menyembah.

Jangan pernah menyerah,
jangan berputus asa.
Mujizat Tuhan ada,
bagi yang setia dan percaya.

https://liriklagupujian.wordpress.com/2015/10/11/jangan-pernah-menyerah/

#2. [10S] Susah sedih saya sabar senantiasa sampai saya senang suka cita selalu. -B.B. Rachmanda

#3. Terkadang kesulitan harus kamu rasakan terlebih dahulu sebelum kebahagiaan yang sempurna datang kepadamu. -R.A. Kartini

#4. If He asks much of you, it is because He knows you can give much. -St. John Paul II

#5. Act as if everything depends on you; trust as if everything depends on God. – Ignatius of Loyola

#6. Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time. – Thomas A. Edison

#7. Fear is the glue that keeps you stuck. Faith is the solvent that sets you free. -Shannon L. Adler

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IELTS Writing Task 2 – Agree or Disagree

Some people believe that what is taught in schools is not as useful as what you can learn outside the school. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people think that a lesson in schools is not beneficial like experiences outside schools. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this notion because it is a different kind of materials which we explore inside schools and outside schools.

Firstly, in schools, we study about the process of thinking critically, such as giving opinions, finding fact and stating arguments about some cases. Besides that, general knowledge is provided by lectures to understand our environments which can be complicated to learn all by ourselves. We learn the proven methods which had already been researched by scientists, researchers or professionals to assist in comprehending the world around us, for example, the theory earth’s gravitational pull.

Another point to see is experiencing outside school is like family,
community, society which is the places that we can practice those theories in a daily life. It will enrich us to gain the wisdom of the concept of theory and the practice of reality. Both of them will support one another like a circle that cannot be separated. For example, young children are getting lessons from their teachers about the respect for older people, when they are interacting with family members at home, usually they will try to act as what their lectures had taught them.

To conclude, lesson schools have the same importance as lessons outside schools since they enable us to adjust every experiences or case that happen to us. We need those to encourage is being better individuals in our societies or environments.

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IELTS Writing Task 2 – Problem Solution

More and more people work today in the large cities? Which problems can it cause? How should the governments encourage people to stay in the small regional towns?

The enormous growth in city’s population has led to city’s chaos in several cases. Although serious problems could happen as a result of this, there are solutions to solve those things that I will explain in this essay.

One of the problems is a lack of employments which is the growth in the number of people who need to work. On the other hand, the development of the suburban area is getting slower than the urban area which causes the people to mitigate. For instance, standardization of school curriculum, the range of working’s salary and service of public health. The assumption is of those standardizations of those examples above us lower than city’s qualification.

That is why it is important to take actions to combat those problems. Government has a vital role to play, such as accelerating the programme of regional’s autonomy. In other words, Governor of the regional city is the person who has a responsibility to ensure the people in local town to stay in their hometown. Besides that, the central government should develop the infrastructures of the region’s city and concerns more about public service. While the government attempts to find every solution of those cases, the people in the local town should not immediately migrate to the capital city.

In conclusion, the government could initiate programs about their region’s autonomy in a suburban area, whereas the people in the regional towns should open their mind to look opportunities that can be developed in their hometown.

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Move Forward

Book – IELTS Speaking

I think the most book that influenced me is probably “Failing Forward” by John C. Maxwell. I read it when I was 15 or years old. I was still at school, and I had just got excited about anything related Psychology. It tells the story of famous people who have different perspective and response to failure.

I learned a lot to look at failure as a lesson and stepping-stone. It affected my life because I did not enter the best class in my first-year Senior High School. And when I read the book, it motivated me to have the positive attitude and try it again. The second year, I entered the class with enough competitive and being part of top 10 students. The book helped me to move beyond my mistake that I have done to fulfill my potential and achieve my success.

Finally, the reason for this book is so influential is that it convinced me to study psychology. After reading this, I could not imagine anything better than spending a time of finding out, reflecting and learning about the past. It inspired me to have balance life between study and was doing extracurricular activities which the things that I loved and applied it to study psychology at university. And that was what I had done, all because of this book.

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DEPEND ON YOUR PURPOSE

Do you ever wonder why people have a willingness to spend their money for a glass of coffee instead of buying a meal? The most famous coffee chain shop, Starbucks Coffee has built in many places in Indonesia. People are feeling proud of seating or just holding a cup on their way to their office. Price is not mattered anymore as long as the benefits of buyers equally as they spend the money. Otherwise, others still like to go to traditional coffee shop for the authentic one. Based on my personal experience, four main things differ people to choose which one they will go are ambiance, taste and time serving, food company and membership.

The first thing is ambiance of the coffee shop starts from entering the store, ordering the drink, picking the seating chairs, taking the drink, and sitting while enjoying the music Details are very important for Starbucks Coffee. They thought the place is everything and you can feel that comfortable ambiance when you are entering their shop. In a traditional one, usually, most of the chairs are looking similar. When you sit down, the waitress comes to you to ask the drink that you want. The decoration of the traditional coffee shop is simple, and most of the place are not using air conditioner.

The second thing is the taste and time serving. In Starbucks Coffee, you can try the medium coffee mix with the range of flavors, for instance, caramel, mocha, chocolate, green tea. Besides, you can add the topping with the whipped cream, caramel or chocolate sauce or cinnamon powder. The average of time serving is less than five minutes, compares to traditional one is usually takes five to eight minutes. On the other hand, traditional one offers limited flavors or mixed taste. Mostly, people find the black and strong coffee, and they can add with white sugar or sweetened condensed milk.

The third thing is the food menu that the shop offers to you. Starbucks Company provides the western food company, for example, sandwich, croissant, panini, cookies, yogurt, and juice. It is unique with the traditional coffee shop in my country, Indonesia; you can find our traditional food and mostly served in fried like fried soybean cake (tempe goreng), fried cassava (singkong goreng), fried tofu (tahu goreng) with the spicy sauce. If you want just to have a snack time, maybe traditional it can be better for you. On the other hand, if you like to eat as your main meal like breakfast or lunch, just go to Starbucks.

The last thing is the loyalty program that the shop offered. If you are going to Starbucks, they engage with their customer through Starbucks Card. You can get a free drink if you purchase their merchandise or top-up with the card. In addition, you can get free food or beverage when you already buy ten foods or drinks. As a member, you also get daily or weekly advertisement if there is any promotional event that the company offer. On the other side, many the traditional shop does not give the loyalty program. The shop usually maintains from how they serve the customer to get back to their shop.

In conclusion, people have several preferences to choose the coffee shop. Sometimes, the price is not the main thing; people can negotiate with other things if they get the same advantages. The other things can also play a big part to influence customer’s decision namely the atmosphere of the place, the taste and time serving, the food menu and the membership. When we think people come to the coffee shop for drink good coffee, sometimes we get wrong. People tend to go to coffee shop, although they are not looking for coffee, but also for the place that makes them comfortable to spend their time.

Others

The Wedding Ceremony: Many different ways to do it

The Wedding Ceremony is always a special moment for everyone that be supposed to be only in their lifetime. The meaning of the ceremonial is common to share their happiness to with their close families and friends. What is making a difference? The culture involves that make perspective to prepare wedding or the way to do it. I had the experience to know about the wedding in Western culture when my native friend from the United States (US) who was getting married several years ago. Three highlights that make them different between the US and Indonesia are sending cards, giving a gift, and accompanying from bridesmaids or groomsmen.

 

Sending cards are quite standard for western people compare to eastern one. When my friend got married, I got three cards from the US was bridal shower card, wedding invitation card, and thank you card. Although recently many young people follow to do bridal shower, they never actually sending a card, most of them just invite by sending a text message via WhatsApp or let you know by mobile phone. And the last one is the thank you card to show their appreciation to you, for example sending a gift to the couples. Compared to my country, Indonesia, I ever just got and only wedding invitation card. We are rarely to say thank you for sending a card.

 

Giving a gift is the second difference between two cultures. When I got the wedding invitation card, I saw there was information about the blog of the couples. When I saw it, mostly it explained the story of the couples and their close friends. One thing is the most important information was the links that inform you the gifts that couple would be like to have it for example glass, plates or cooking pan. If other guests already purchased it, you need to find another thing that they still did not give away. In Indonesia, we rarely to gift things except sometimes close family give the gold jewelry. Most of them, usually give the money in the sealed envelope. And guests can give any money depend on their efforts, but mostly there are minimum amounts among their circles of society.

 

The third one is accompanying from bridesmaids or groomsmen. Although it is getting popular these days, not many of the couples will have many bridesmaid or groomsmen beside them. If they have it, maybe they just have it only one to three. From the several movies that I watched, bridesmaids have the most important one to help the preparation of the wedding until the day. In my country, Indonesia although several couples still use it, they just need the bridesmaid help on the ceremony day.

 

The way of the preparation of the wedding ceremony can differ from one culture to the other one such as sending cards, giving a gift and accompanying from bridesmaid or groomsmen. Otherwise, the essence of the event is the same is to enjoy their unforgettable moment once in a lifetime with their loved one. The differences between them enrich our knowledge and growing our respect of differential culture. It is a momentum to learn other cultures and appreciate diversity.