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Why couples break their relationship?

“I cried a lot because of you. I laughed a lot because of you. I believed in love because of you. And now I’m heartbroken because of you.” –Tyga, an American rapper.  “If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” – Paulo Coelho, a Brazilian novelist. These two quotes broken-hearted from famous people describe people who you love first are the one that potentially makes your heart broken. In addition, you need to have great courage to move on because there is a lot of opportunities out there. There are three main reasons partners break their relationship: they have high expectations from the partners, they have different top three values that should stand, and they could not tolerate the partner’s weakness.

The couples have high expectations in their mind what their mates should think, behave and say it. For example, a man expects the woman do cooking for him, oblige everything that he said, and follow his rules. On the other side, a woman hopes that man can listen to every problem that she told, support her decision in life, can always be there every time she needs. When a man or woman has something that they imagine their partners should act, but in reality, it does not happen like that; and then, the disappointment is the result that couples get. If they could not carry it on for a short or long time and happens like a snowball, it will encourage one of the partners to decide to end their relationship.

Every partner has different top values, and the change happens when one of them break it down. In life, people have values that they embrace, and they expect the others to fulfill it. For instance, a man has values that influenced by his childhood – consistency, carefulness, and patience. On the other hand, the woman has different top values – honesty, fearlessness, and trustworthiness. When they interact each other in daily life, they seem to forget to communicate their critical values. When one of the partners ignore, it disappoints their heart.

The partner cannot tolerate their partner’s weaknesses when they build the relationship. As time goes by, the partner learns everything about their partners, such as their likes and dislikes, hopes and despairs, the past and future life. The partner attempts to open themselves, such as express themselves as the needy or insensitive person, or they can be very blunt to judge something. The couple hopes their partner can support everything or accept who they are. When one partner cannot deal with the other’s vulnerabilities, there is a high possibility they will decide to give up their relationship.

The relationship is never as perfect as a fairy tale or romantic drama which has a happy ending. The couple can choose to break their relationship when they could not fulfill a high expectation from their partners, could not accept the differences of their priority values and deal the partner’s shortcomings. The general quote often hears that nobody is perfect and to commit to building it better should be a part of partner’s mindset. Maintaining the relationship needs effort from both parties to understand their partner’s self, accept every different values and fragility, and change themselves to be a better person

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