A Heart That Forgives – Kevin Levar

I want a heart that forgives
A heart full of love
One with compassion just like Yours above
One that overcomes evil with goodness and love
Like it never happened, never holding a grudge
I want a heart that forgives that lives and let’s live
One that keeps loving over and over again
One that men can’t offend
Because Your Word is within
One that loves without price, like You Lord Jesus Christ
I want a heart that loves everybody….even my enemies
I want to love like You, be like You, just like You did
I want a heart that forgives,

I want a heart that forgives!
When the ones that are closest, that I’ve known the longest, hurt me the most;
I still wanna love them just like You love me
Even though I’m hurting
I want a heart that forgives
When the pain is so deep, it’s so hard to speak, about it to anyone
Just like Your Son, I give up my right to hold it against them with hatred inside
I want a heart that loves everybody….even my enemies
I wanna love like You, be like You, just like You did
Wanna walk like You, talk like You, just like You did,
Wanna be like You, live like You, just like You did

‘Cause the heart that forgives is the heart that will live
Totally free from the pain of the past
And the heart that let’s go is the heart that will know so much freedom

Lord I wanna let it go
God I need to let it go
Lord its been holding me back
And I don’t want it, I don’t want it, I don’t
I don’t want it no more
I don’t know exactly what to do to get rid of it, but ah…
Here I am Lord Jesus, here I am oh, here I am Lord Jesus…ooh
Lord, I need You, I need You, I know this is me that You’re talking to
This is me, this is me, this is me, Lord, this is me
Lord, I let it go, every person, every person that’s ever hurt me
God I let it go
Every single hurt
God I let it go
Every single pain
God I let it go, I let it go, I let it go
Lord, You can have it, Lord You can have it,
Lord, You can have it, Lord You can have it,
You can have it now, You can have it now,
‘Cause I don’t want it no……more

Source: http://www.newreleasetoday.com/lyricsdetail.php?lyrics_id=79959

Dear God,

Please take all my despair, sadness and pain. When you forgive all my sins, and as you child, I would learn to forgive all those things that my beloved one to do. I know love can not be forced, it will come accidentally, but it will stay with conscious and effort. If one person does not do it, just accept and let it go. I will find the one who will fight for it. It is hard but I must face it. Everything is changed and I do not want to regret it. I thankful for the lesson, Lord. Please take me to a new journey. I am ready to do it.

Cheers, Mon x


A Story of Believing

There is a quote that reflected my journey to be a volunteer in 2012 from Etselec, “Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.” Do you ever feel such a thing or in that experience? The only thing that you need to do just to believe although it seems impossible. I embraced every step of the process one month before my flight date, 30 August 2012. I was waiting desperately for a visa which is the most important document to enter my new journey.

I resigned firmly from my first company in management consulting industry as Project Monitoring at the end of July 2012. I thought confidently my sponsorship letter came around this time as I heard from former volunteers’ experience. I was sorrowful that I did not go back to my hometown, Padang as planned due to I still did not get a letter until the fourth week of July. Instead of overthinking on this, I went to other countries – Vietnam and Cambodia as a backpacker, which I already bought the cheap flight a year ago.

All my worries turned on into happiness when I checked my email in the last two days before I backed home. I was a grateful person, and I was waiting the time could spin directly until my flight date to Jakarta. After I had submitted the form, I realized that the average time of processing visa was very tight with my flight date. There were two important public holidays in August 2012 namely Independence Day and ‘Eid Mubarak. My mind was wandered and scattered, “Is it enough?”

There was nothing happened on one week before my flight’s date. I managed all my troubled heart with writing a post on my blog entitled Believe. I listened to my mother’s advice that I should not force my intention if it was not meant to be. I spent a lot of my money to live as unemployed for a month. I cried every day, but I knew it did not change the situation. One thing that I said silently to myself and made my heart was peaceful, “God, please give me a big heart to accept the thing that it did not happen as I thought. And send me a wise heart to understand everything.”

In the morning of the day of my flight, I was just praying to give me strength. All my stuff already sent to the home and I already said to room’s owner that that day was my last day. If I did not get the visa, there was one thing for sure – bought the ticket to Padang. I heard a sound of an incoming message at 11 am, and I read a text message from my former boss for asking for my visa. Two seconds after that, I just got a message from the UK Visa Office. My heart was singing to please God. I called my mother, and I said, “I will go, Mom.”

I went to the visa office directly with a thankful heart. When I backed into my room that I was ever living in six and half years, I took contentedly my big luggage and backpack bag. I could not say anything to my friend because it was just suddenly happened, my flight time was 5.30pm. It was like a dream; I arrived in time for check-in at the airport in Jakarta to go long way journey to Manchester. From this incredible experience, I learned one thing that I need to believe in beautiful things would happen in my life and it will do the same thing with your life too.















I do not know that I love you until it feels hurt.
It is a pain to understand the different things that we have.
I need to realize that you need time alone for your dream.

I still even do not know for everything that you chose.
Am I the only side to love you or do you also love me back?
May I wonder about your love?
Or I just to feel that love is just to give and never ask to get back.

Sometimes, it’s hard to understand everything.
But, I am still here.
To accept who you are.
Believe who you will be.
And to wait for miracles.

It will be easier for me if this ‘thing’ will say it clear, look like apparently, and appear what it should be.
But it is not.
It seems like a gray color that does not know where it goes.

But I am still here.
To love.


pic blog



God’s time is never late or too quick. It is always in time according to His plan. As a human, I learn to believe in His plan and not my plan. It takes the time to bring me in this understanding.

We have a lot of plans, dreams, and hopes in our life. To be an efficient person, we also have a timeline for that. However, in reality, it does not always happen as we planned. Do you just remember the event that comes up in your mind? What is your first response to the situation like that?

I have one of the biggest dreams in my life. It is never easy to pursue it. I need to take a long time to continue it, but I never give up because I believe there is a way to get there until it seems no way. I dreamed it in my mind in ten years ago. I just realised to make it a real in three years later. I was not directly to get into my dream, but it took me go around in somewhere else. Until the day came, I could say that in three years ago, I need to start it. It is not like other people; I did not arrive it as my schedule.

Was I stopped and depressed? For a moment, yes. Otherwise, He always is there for the people who I met. The people that helped me to try it again, again and again. From those experiences, I learned about being human in the following insights:

  1. Prayer is the best way to know and understand His plans
  2. Thank the person who always supports you and does not do that. You got two lessons: to know the real mate and to forgive the oppose one.
  3. Keep practising and do what you can do.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart, yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” -Ecclesiastes 3:11


18 Motivational Bible Verses

  1. And this patience is proof that we are strong. And this proof gives us hope. And this hope will never disappoint us. We know this because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts through the Holy Spirit he gave us. -Romans 5:4-5 (ERV)
  2. You might call many people your “friends”, but it is hard to find someone who can really be trusted. -Proverbs 20:6 (ERV)
  3. There is  a right time for everything, and everything on earth will happen at the right time. -Ecclesiastes 3:1 (ERV)
  4. Any of you who want to be my follower must stop thinking about yourself and what you want. You must be willing to carry the cross that is given to you for following me. -Mark 8:34b (ERV)
  5. But the Lord said, “My Grace is all you need. Only when you are weak can everything be done completely by my power. ” -2Cor 12:9a (ERV)
  6. In all the work you are given, do the best you can. Work as though you are working for the Lord, not any earthly master. -Collosians 3:23 (ERV)
  7. No one has ever seen, no one has ever heard, no one has ever imagined what God has prepared for those who love him. -1 Cor 2:9 (ERV)
  8. I forget what is in the past and try as hard as I can to reach the goal before me. I keep running hard toward the finish line to get the prize that is mine because God has called me through Christ Jesus to life up there in heaven. -Philippians 3:13b-14 (ERV)
  9. A song for going up to the Temple. I look up to the hills, but where will my help really come from? My help will come from the Lord, the Creator of heaven and earth. -Psalms 121:1-2 (ERV)
  10. The Lord’s words are true and pure, like silver purified by fire, like silver melted seven times to make it perfectly pure. -Psalms 12:7 (ERV)
  11. Then Jesus said to her, “Remember what I told you? I said that if you believed, you would see God’s divine greatness.” -John 11:40 (ERV)
  12. Faith is what makes real the things we hope for. It is proof of what we cannot see. -Hebrews 11:1 (ERV)
  13. We know that in everything God works for the good of those who love him. These are the people God chose, because that was his plan. -Romans 8:28 (ERV)
  14. Anyone who live the way God wants can pray, and great things will happen. –James 5:16b (ERV)
  15. Remember what I told you? I said that if you believed, you would see God’s divine greatness. –John 11:40 (ERV)
  16. But in all these troubles we have complete victory through God, who has shown his love for us. –Romans 8:37 (ERV)
  17. “All things are allowed”, you say. But not all things are good. -1 Corinthians 10:23a (ERV)
  18. I know what you do. I have put before an open door that no one can close. I know you are weak, but you have followed my teaching. You were not afraid to speak my name. -Revelation 3:8 (ERV)


25 Lessons To Be Learned

I looked my notes on Facebook that I wrote three years ago. At 22 years old, I learned a lot about the ‘meaning of life’ especially from 2008-2010. The value, principle, and philosophy of life is began to be formed and renew again.
At that time, I said, “Regret it or not, it’s all the passed”.
And I said, “Now, it’s time to learn and to begin forming what my life would be in two, three or five years later.”
I do not realize this is a time. In this year-2013, I want to put more in my lists that I have already learned in life.
25 Things in life that I learned
1. What I sowed, it’s also I harvested.
2. Giving is beautiful, include when I have nothing.
3. Accept what has happened and never regret it.
4.  Forgive my mistakes, mistakes of others, and continue to live. Life is not perfect, and nobody is perfect.
5. Life is not always easy, and also not as difficult as people think. Keep trying and believe. Everything is possible, dude.
6. Most wonderful book to explore and to interpret is BIBLE.
7. Person that you love most, it can become the person you hate. And also, the person that you hate most, it can be the person you love. So, just love peoples around you, whoever, whatever they are. Keep loving your neighbor evens though the enemy.
8.  Love is the most beautiful thing and sometimes it can be horror.  So, just Love God 100% because He is the perfect one, He never make mistake. And love the human like Him, but never expect anything.
9. Know myself and love language of others is important. Read the book of The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I recognize my love languages are quality time and words of affirmation.
10. Pain is hurt. If I can request, I do not want to feel it. But Thank God, I had many experiences through the pain. From the pain, I can see the beauty of life. It is not about the object, happiness or painfulness. It is about learning to do not attach whatever the situations and still thankful.
11. Happiness is coming when I able to accept myself, accept others as they are, and do not expect anything.
12. Life needs to struggle and to sacrifice. Just do it, keep persistence and enjoy the results.
13. Life depends on HIM. And you never are disappointed. Just keep patience to wait His time.
14. Nothing is too late in life.  When I realize that I was wrong. Sit down, be quiet, reflect, evaluate, get up, and do it again!
15. When I said that I know everything. I need to realize that is time that I need to learn more.
16. Do not think too much. Do, practice, learn, and do it again.
17. It is a time to open my heart and enjoy the life.
18. Process of our experiences are not being described. Feel it, enjoy it.
19. In the end, make priority of my life: Lord, family, work, ministry, friends..
20. He gave me blessings and graces so I can continue my life. He guides me, leads me to be a woman of Him.
21. Learn, learn, and learn. Never ever stop learning.
22. La vie est jolie – Life is beautiful
23. Be in the moment – enjoy right here, right now.
24. I will put one more for my priority list: find the partner life based on Him
25. Keep praying and believe in Him. It needs practice and Holy Spirit to do that. I hope, I will.

Unfinished ending

Having a spare time in weekday encourage me to start writing. Actually, I had been planning to write this story some time ago but always postponed because confused where to start. This is about the “two sides” that will always there in our life. What is the “two sides” of life?

Up and Down,

Good and Bad,

Happy and Sad,

Hello and Goodbye,

Choice and Consequence,

Right and Obligation,

Chance and Challenge,

And so many other “two sides” in our life.



Today I would like to share about “Hello and Good Bye”. Every story will always have a beginning and also an ending. But, what if there is a story that will never have an endings? Starting a story with a nice HELLO and wish it ended with a nice GOOD BYE. Unfortunately, not even a nice good bye, it ended with obscurity. Should I feel regret of it? I think not. Life is a mystery, anything can happen, a bad or a good things, it’s all happen for a reason.

“Ends are not bad things, they just mean that something else is about to begin. And there are many things that don’t really end, anyway, they just begin again in a new way. End are not bad and many ends aren’t really an ending; some things are never-ending.” (C. JoyBell C.)

“There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.” (Frank Herbert)

I believe God have His own way to teach me about life.

I believe that everything has been prepared by God and it is for something good.