Him

A Story of Believing

There is a quote that reflected my journey to be a volunteer in 2012 from Etselec, “Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.” Do you ever feel such a thing or in that experience? The only thing that you need to do just to believe although it seems impossible. I embraced every step of the process one month before my flight date, 30 August 2012. I was waiting desperately for a visa which is the most important document to enter my new journey.

I resigned firmly from my first company in management consulting industry as Project Monitoring at the end of July 2012. I thought confidently my sponsorship letter came around this time as I heard from former volunteers’ experience. I was sorrowful that I did not go back to my hometown, Padang as planned due to I still did not get a letter until the fourth week of July. Instead of overthinking on this, I went to other countries – Vietnam and Cambodia as a backpacker, which I already bought the cheap flight a year ago.

All my worries turned on into happiness when I checked my email in the last two days before I backed home. I was a grateful person, and I was waiting the time could spin directly until my flight date to Jakarta. After I had submitted the form, I realized that the average time of processing visa was very tight with my flight date. There were two important public holidays in August 2012 namely Independence Day and ‘Eid Mubarak. My mind was wandered and scattered, “Is it enough?”

There was nothing happened on one week before my flight’s date. I managed all my troubled heart with writing a post on my blog entitled Believe. I listened to my mother’s advice that I should not force my intention if it was not meant to be. I spent a lot of my money to live as unemployed for a month. I cried every day, but I knew it did not change the situation. One thing that I said silently to myself and made my heart was peaceful, “God, please give me a big heart to accept the thing that it did not happen as I thought. And send me a wise heart to understand everything.”

In the morning of the day of my flight, I was just praying to give me strength. All my stuff already sent to the home and I already said to room’s owner that that day was my last day. If I did not get the visa, there was one thing for sure – bought the ticket to Padang. I heard a sound of an incoming message at 11 am, and I read a text message from my former boss for asking for my visa. Two seconds after that, I just got a message from the UK Visa Office. My heart was singing to please God. I called my mother, and I said, “I will go, Mom.”

I went to the visa office directly with a thankful heart. When I backed into my room that I was ever living in six and half years, I took contentedly my big luggage and backpack bag. I could not say anything to my friend because it was just suddenly happened, my flight time was 5.30pm. It was like a dream; I arrived in time to check-in at the airport in Jakarta to go long way journey to Manchester. From this incredible experience, I learned one thing that I need to believe in beautiful things would happen in my life and it will do the same thing with your life too.

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TRY IT, YOU NEVER KNOW

Do you ever watch the singing contest which the popular recently? There are many of them that we saw on the television, such as Indonesian Idol, AFI, American Idol, The Voice and so on. Before the real contest begins, they showed how the judges selected the participant’s competition. One of the most interesting was the auditions who joined the event had a horrible voice, but they have other beliefs. We tend to laugh and give comments such as “Why do they still think about joining the contest?”. Could you ever imagine it happened to the people who mentioned or laughed were your friends or families or relatives? It happened to me when I was Junior High School.

Every time, I watch the movie like that, I remembered myself a long time ago. One of my friend’s classmates asked me to accompany her to join a sing competition contest.  At the time, I just replied, “Why not? Let’s do it.” The value of the friendship was made your friends happy, and it will be good for you too. Also, I never know what I want to do or interested. The price of competition’s entry was reasonable, and perhaps I will be a famous artist someday. All of the thoughts were just came out before I accepted my friend’s offering.

Several songs that already prepared by a committee, and we need to pick one of them. In the two weeks before the contest, we need to test a voice, and a board knew which pitches that we sang. I chose what my friend picked, and the title of the song is Tegar – which was popular at the time by Rosa. I never thought that I was an inexperienced young girl would join this competition compared to my friend who practiced vocal in the formal course. Otherwise, I believe that I need to practice the song until the day of competition was coming. I did not think about “what if – What if I fail? What if people laughed at me? What if I will be ashamed to do this?” Instead, I was a smooth feeling and had a bigger optimistic.

I never understand how to be a good singer. I just imagine myself that I need to sing like an artist. I took my old microphone which has a long cable around 90 centimeters and connected to the DVD which has a CD in it. I tried to practice it with turned off the voice from the artist, and instead my voice will hear out loud. Sometimes, my neighbors at my age were coming to sing the same song. I did not receive feedback from the people which one was bad and which things that I need to improve on. In addition, I did not care about the other people’s comment, and I did not need them.

The event was coming, and I wore a bright gray dress that I loved and trendy at the time because it was millennium year in 2000. My body was shaking when I heard many beautiful voices was singing by all contestants. I hoped that I could turn time that I did not want to join this competition. I felt that I am not ready enough. The master of a ceremony called my number, and I remembered my feet went away step by step to the stairs into the stage which was not big enough. The stage is not a fancy stage; there was no lighting and just a keyboard with a good sound system. The ambiance was hot because a lot of people surround the stage. And then, I started to sing introduction part and immediately it just stopped until the lyrics came to refren. I could not remember the remain lyrics, and I did not finish my song. I stood up in front of hundreds of audiences were watching me.  I felt intimidated or it just my thoughts.

I did not remember what happened in the last part, maybe because it was a humiliating experience. I directly went home and said to myself “Never again join the sing competition.” When I backed to my hometown, every time I open my childhood album, I always embarrassed on saw that picture. A young girl who thought she had a beautiful voice, but not. At least, one thing I know – sing is not my thing, and that’s way I can practice my other activities – dancing.  If you have something, you just need to try on, because you never know. If you failed, no worries at least you did not need to go to that thing again.